Family travel can be amazing, but it can also be hard. You know me – I love holidays with my mini-explorers. However, after sharing 20 signs you’re winning at family travel it only seems fair and authentic to share 20 signs you’re losing at family travel. Thank goodness these moments are only fleeting and outweighed by good times, eh?
1. Braving one room for your family of four on the basis that it’s super spacious, only to discover the hotel photographer clearly has a wide lens and a flair for Photoshop.
2. Smugly watching your baby sleep during an eight hour flight and landing in your new destination in the evening to discover they now don’t want to sleep. These all-nighters are nowhere near as fun as those club nights. Screw you, jet lag!
3. Accepting the recommendation to buy the nappies at the local shop, only to find that you’ve used your last nappy on the transfer ride and the local shop is shut and the next one is 90 minutes away.
4. Fighting the urge to pack everything to find that you’ve forgotten the baby’s bottle, their favourite blanket and your swimsuit. It’s okay to blame it on baby brain, right?
5. Letting the toddler choose their own meal only to hear “Waaaaaa, I don’t like that yucky one” when it arrives.
6. Shunning the extra few quid for allocated seats only to discover that airlines can in fact be heartless and willing to split young families up.
7. Experiencing (no point saying managing!) the beloved toddler tantrum in a quiet restaurant. You just gotta ride it out and avoid the stares. Easier said than done.
8. Sitting in a never ending traffic jam with screaming kids and no where to pull over. Send help.
9. Seeing the dreaded empty battery symbol on the iPad when you still have three more hours of travel left and no socket in sight.
10. Watching your baba wriggle in pain as their ears pop when the plane descends for landing.
11. Managing to somehow hold a baby on your lap whilst simultaneously bending down to fish the snack bag out of your overflowing case only to discover that the toddler has somehow already eaten all of the snacks. And the spares that you packed. Cue one big meltdown.
12. Getting a whiff of a dirty nappy and seconds later feeling the contents of said nappy oozing out the side of their grow. Then hearing the air stewardess say that the pilot has put the seat belt light on whilst we pass through some tricky air turbulence. Joy.
13. Waiting to check-in for your flight and fighting the urge to throw up, whilst carrying a million bags and your wriggly child.
14. Watching your little one’s eyes light up as they spy the pool and direct access from your holiday home. Pool guards, fences and gates are for losers. Of course a parent’s attempt at a relaxing holiday needs an extra reason to watch their child.
15. Day tripping to that pretty village that all the guidebooks talk about only to find that it is not remotely pushchair friendly and the baby carrier is back in your hotel room.
16. Shunning the recommended restaurant due to a hangry toddler and admitting defeat by heading to McDonalds only to find huge queues spilling out into the square. Fast food you say, eh?
17. Hearing the sweet sound of a mixer truck, digger and about 50 builders from the comfy seat of your room balcony aka a magnet for toddlers and a deafening distraction for babies.
18. Collecting the keys to your family suite on the 15th floor and noticing the out of order sign on the lift.
19. Waiting for your buggy at the luggage carousel and spying one lonely wheel and not a lot else. Thank F for insurance.
20. Forgetting to take out family holiday insurance. FFS.
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